I would have never thought I would be where I am a year ago... If anything, I thought I wouldn't be able to make it. In the past year, not only have I gone through the biggest heart break of my life, but I also became a more centered and mature person as well. When something horrible happens to you, all you want to do is think "why me?" or "what did I do to deserve this?"... and of course that is normal, but once you go through the whole ordeal, you realize that you should have been asking "what can I get out of this" or "how is this going to make me a better person." Now that I look back at it, I was really not ready for the rest of my life yet and was not even sure if I could be happy just being alone. I have now learned that being happy with just yourself is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, because who is the only person that you can be sure will be there for you besides yourself? These days, you can't really name many people, but being 100% sure that you will be there for yourself is the only comfort that you can actually have.
You also start to realize that people are put in your life at certain times for a reason. The break up definitely brought me back to my relationship with God, as well as understanding that I needed to use my pain to help others that are going through the same thing. I have had good friends screw me over, but at the same time found amazing new friends who I never would have met had I not been single. I can honestly say I am happy and I haven't been able to say that for over a year... it was always a "I'm ok" but never "I am happy!" I wouldn't change one thing about the past 14 months of my life and cannot wait to see what is in store for me in the years to come. I am ready to risk everything again and that is a really good feeling.
I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I will be sure to be doing this more often, because who knows, maybe someone reading will realize that life isn't over and that hope is there, just grab it and go with it!
:)
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